may - june

Been quite some time since I last blogged.

Was sick last month and total number of days I worked was around 14 days? Hm, this is so terrible..

Attended the WSQ ESS course and it was refreshing. Will be going for the other 1 in July.

GSS is here and I have yet to buy anything I fancy, wanna buy a wallet, the wallets doesnt have the leather I want.. Wanna get Sony H50 but this model is not available in the PC show... So disappointed...

Shopped at Vivo but bought nothing... Spent $$ on food, and hagen daz icecream...... Nice....

Hope to keng some Mc. Realli no mood to work...

It's April~

Yeah, it is April and that means my bdae is just round the corner.. Time to pamper myself a little.. Firstly, I got myself a Agnes B bag. Jz to reward myself for the hard work. 2ndly, a black Ferrari F1 shirt, yeah I know Ferrari team isnt performing well. but heck, i juz love the tee. Decide to pamper myself, therefore I book a hotel room in KL to go on a shopping cum eating tour with my bro, since there is a Good Friday holiday!

Work life never seems easy, esp when I wanted to resign from my current company. My employer doesnt want to release me, so in the end we have to talk terms. I guess we both take a step back, settling at something both of us agreed on.

Next, I shall be moving house.. to Kovan! God bless me, Kovan to Tuas = dead Cheryl. No choice, for the sake of the family, I got to travel. Waiting to move into the new house, since it is still under renovation. Staying in Kovan means going back to JB will be less often. Time to meet up some close friends n jio them out since it has been quite some time I last met them. such as some secondary school friends, primary school friends, I feel that is the best time of my life, unlike some friends of mine, super duper realistic, like the bitches in my poly class and some more to name. sucks big time.....

Shall be looking forward to my KL trip, and hopefully a Vietnam trip and HK trip if possible in the 2nd half of 2009....

cheerS~

146th post!

This is my 146th post for this blog.. Sorry for the lack of updates, sometimes after finishing work, there is no more mood to blog or do things that are of great significance.

Recently, I had a road trip with my friends, Jeremy, Angeline n Nancy... Lesson learnt: nv let your foreign friend venture into Msia alone. Miscommunication and end up wasting some time.. The trip was fine, managed to reach Melaka within 2hrs.. minus out that stupid stop by police somewhere on highway.. I managed a speed on 140km/h on average. First stop was Nonya food, dint have breakfast thanks to Nancy. Den shopping at Palawan Dataran, the biggest mall in Melaka. We went to History Meuseum and all of us were happily snapping photos at the mueseum. Den had satay celup at the town before leaving.. It was pouring when we were leaving Melaka..

After so long, I decide that I should move on with my life. There are many goals in life I have yet to attain.. I think it is time to tender and move on. At times I cant tolerate his nonsense. That style of management will never bring this co up....... I'm working for money, not love, or anything, this current place cant offer me much...

So much is in my heart, but nahz, shant talk much at this moment. Pray hard for me, I really need to move on. Enuf time has been wasted....

So fast and it is almost CNY soon. Frankly speaking, I have yet to start shopping. Feel like running away for this CNY. I feel as I grow older, the mood and hype has died down.

Feeling very tired daily after work, starting to lose some will power as day passes. How can I stay motivated in this job? Have thoughts of buying car and move back, but it seems I wanna change job soon. At least to relieve myself from the endless jobs.

Hate it when I m told to go back to upgrade my skills. Grh, upgrading means I will be tied down by company. What shld I do?

Perhaps the last entry for 2008

2008 has generally been a great year for me. I did managed to have a career change but I am still not satisfied with what I have. Am I over ambitious in my life? I cant seem to get satisfied easily. What exactly do I want in my life?

1. A prospectable career (I wanna leave my current company)
2. More money and luxuries in life
3. My other half
4. MBA certification

Perhaps these r what I probably wanna attain in 2 to 3 years. I need to make changes in my life.

Some major events that happened in 2008.

1. Somehow or rather, I endured working in my ex company. The thought of resigning was lingering in my head since I didnt make it thru for the Capital Market exams. The greater blow was my confirmation date was 5th Jan 2008 and I did not qualify for a single cent of bonus. So much efforts put into work but there wasn't any returns. Went through a period of depression then.

2. Juz because I began working, my ang pow from my aunt was cut, by 70%. So unfair...

3. 23rd bdae in April. I had a nice time with the guys from school. Came in to JB to celebrate my bdae. Touched and I am grateful to them.

4. Found a new job in Sg in the same month, perhaps my bdae wish came true. Haha

5. Started work in Singapore. Living there too. Life seems to change totally for me. From being everything is done for me at home, I have to be very independent. I felt home sick, coz couldn't stand the loneliness. But I overcome it, thanks to Eline who talked me out.

6. Life has been a roller coaster for me. Love life has never been good. I liked someone, but he didn't like me I suppose, coz he is still hiding and not facing reality.

7. It has been 1 year since I graduated from university. I guess I have yet to achieve much in life. Still a nobody....

8. Has made a good friend in work but leaving soon.. I need to be more independent again. Frankly speaking, I have got no heart to work in this company. Why? It's difficult to work in a place with double standards, some people just behave like barbarian at times. How to work for 1 when he doesnt know how to manage the job, the company and the people? What more to lead this company. I see my days in this company numbered, I seriously need a total change in environment. Somewhere I can maximise and unleash my potential, somewhere I can grow and climb the corporate ladder. Somewhere that can motivate me intrinsically and extrinsically. More money, more status, more autonomy, more power, more opportunities to go abroad. Before I lose my will, I need someone to guide me out and lead me to where I want.

9. So much of my unhappiness, 2008 is ending, shall look forward to my bonus, my year end class chalet for a whole lot of fun and crazy drinking session. hope I will not be knock out by them.. Haha..

I wish 2009 will be a better year for me, but knowing that chances to jump into a MNC is quite limited as world economy is very bad. I hope that some kind souls donate 100k to me. And I shall stop work 24 hrs to enrol for my MBA.

Fustration

Life has not been smooth sailing.. Feeling v sick of work. Having to face some people that are unreasonable make work unbearable at times. Sometimes I juz got to tolerate their nonsense. I am not sure how much longer I can tolerate. Maybe some day when I am sick and tired, I will walk off..

Felt very upset with the Brazilian GP. That stupid Glock just gave way to Hamilton to let him win the championship. This is total crap. I stayed up to see the race, but I am totally disappointed. Well, Massa u r the ultimate champion in my heart..

Why does things torment me all at a go.. I wish to escape, to some island where I just wanna get out of contact for a week... It's tiring and draining too much of my energy, soon I will lose my motivation.... The zest of life.....


Sigh..

Ramblings..

I guess my blog is collecting dust, I am posting like a entry per month. Somehow or rather, I start to feel unmotivated again, is it because my expectation towards work is too high? I am feeling tired daily, show no interest to work. On top of it, I think I have reach the peak of the learning curve in this company. Previously, I find that there are many things I can learn in my ex company. But over here, more or less, I have finish learning most of the stuffs. Coming from a rather big company with branches all over Malaysia and annual turnover of RM 580 million seems more fun and challenging to work, than a SME with a turnover of S$3 million. Right now, it seems like I am struck in a maze looking out for the light.

Spoke to a few people who are more experienced with life. One advised me to consider before job hopping again, a person with 2 yrs experience switching few jobs (3-4) wont hab a good looking resume. But I feel tormented working here. As I go on working, I am feeling depressed. People ask me to stay, people ask me to leave. I really dont know. If I can get a well prospect job, I just job hop... I wanna go away to relax but financially I am not able to afford it, coz I dont want to burst my credit card limits.

Right now, there are many things in life which needs to be sorted out, firstly is job, next is my PR and I need to re-adjust my mentality. I am going for my PR submission real soon, on 29/10/2008. I hope everything goes smoothly, attaining PR will give me another booster in my life. I need not rely on holding EP anymore.

I guess I am over him. Really.... I dont pin any more hopes on him after so many months (7-8 months).... I dont see why a person like him wanna hide at home and run away from reality. I am really tired. Why doesnt one know how to appreciate the people around him who cares for him, to want him to get back to the usual self? Failure does torment people, but success only come after one works hard for it. I dont think I wan a loser to be my other half..

Well, enough of the sad and unhappy stuffs, I am so looking forward to class chalet in Dec, Christmas Eve, I guess that is the time u can make me real drunk.... Coz I wont mind drinking to drown my sorrows...... This chalet will be of good food, alcohol and great company.....

Signing off for now.